Siew Wei's Space

 

Fuck!! Have been doing 3-4 question today!! But my account nvr balance even once!! What's wrong wif me? If continue like tat, I don't think I will pass the exam.. It's just consolidated account!! I haven try the question 2 yet... Keep motivating myself to start my revision... Ya, finally I did it!! But, keep failing to complete a question... I am very headache now!! Hope I can get it right later.... :(

 

Just join a gym membership today... Actually feel a bit waste... Because the contract is 2 years and we pay lump sum.. Its around RM 2150... Thx to Andrew because he still willing to invest on me..  Frankly speaking, I won't join gym if I need to pay.. Unless I got a high salary job... ^^

 

Erm.. Just suddenly feel want to say thank you to him... He actually spend a lot of money on me.. Travel, gym, my course fee, my cloth and etc... Anything that I wish to buy, you will just buy for me.. I know you're not a rich guy, so just feel very warm because u still willing to spend on me.. And Fei zai... Thx for giving him to me... I think without him, my life is just incomplete... ^^

 

Thanks for everything that U give it to me....  

世界不知不觉的变了, 有时候我怀念以前的我... 拥有了爱情, 难道我必须失去自我吗？为什么自从考完LCCI之后，我就变得懒散了？为什么以前的planning现在全都被我搁置了呢？21岁出车，要靠自己，要独立，不要靠别人，不可以和别人借钱，等等等等.... 全都去了哪里呢？那种永远不可以输的精神呢？那种别人可以做到，我一定也要做到的精神呢？

 

昨天和yoon kiat msn，他提醒了我，从前的黄晓薇呢？死了吧？从很勤力变成现在的懒惰虫，是我想的吗？是我要的吗？是我的计划吗？我的计划呢？为什么就连一个都没有实现？以前可以等巴士等三个小时都有耐心的我，去了哪里呢？现在，10分钟已经是极限了... 不愿意提早出门，要刚刚好到...是我现在的习惯... 以前，我会选择提早到，早点到好过迟到... 以前可以从sri sinar走路回家的我呢？现在连走5分钟都在吵了... 以前的我，从不会发脾气... 现在脾气却暴躁得无可药救...

 

23岁的我，竟然欠andrew钱！竟然没有工作！竟然没有车！竟然怕不及格！这是我吗？真的是我吗？他妈的！为什么我会不及格？为什么我要怕？为什么我的要求只是pass? 他妈的！没有水准！以前的我，没有必要担心及格吗，而是可以score A吗... 这种精神呢？死了吧！还有最惨的是：我的银行竟然没有钱！可以相信吗？我自己都难以接受！从小到大，我都叮咛着自己一定要有后备，发生什么事，起码还有钱旁身嘛！

 

好！好！好！看回以前是没有用的.... 一定要努力！努力达到目标！努力找回原来的我... 努力读书！努力！努力！努力！加油！加油！加油！

 

 

 

最近看了很多套西片... 以前，从来不会刻意去看，去追这些所谓的欧美连续剧... 可是一旦看了，就停不下来了.. 西片其实真的好看过港台剧.. 很真实，很潮流，很有意思... 最不好的地方，就是讲英语咯... 我的英语从来就不是很好，所以刚开始看真的很勉强... 几乎是靠华语字来了解整个戏在表达些什么... 现在看久了，开始有一点点明白了.. 哈哈... 或许可以说，看西片令我的英语进步了哦...

 

很多人问我，你每天呆在家里到底是做什么的？应该很得空吧？为什么叫你做东西好像要了你的命？其实，我也不懂在忙什么.... 就只是facebook，看戏，去上课而已.. 最严重的我看是facebook吧... 完全沉迷在facebook... 所谓的Barn Buddy，24小时开着，就只是等我朋友的水果熟，然后去偷... Fish A Fish，每四个小时就log in,为了可以钓鱼，up level... Poker, 弥补我的赌瘾.... and etc... 很无聊吧？就是不知道，为什么会那么沉迷... 我很想在考试前把我的laptop收好，这样应该会比较好吧... 真希望我可以做到....

 

当然还有，就是andrew的assignment咯！真讨厌！竟然叫一个读account的去做Business的assignment... 没天理嘛！可是也没办法，不想帮也要帮... 不会也要硬着头皮做... 真希望我的IQ爆满！这样的话，什么也难不倒我了... 每次andrew叫我帮忙，我也只能帮一点点，想多帮忙也无能为力啊！没有聪明的脑袋... 所以啊，我真的很羡慕那些聪明人，做什么都快... 学东西快，了解能力好... 好羡慕哦！

 

考试要到了哦！真希望自己可以争气些.... 不要再继续懒下去了.. 好吗？不要再继续堕落下去了..... 加油！加油！

 

 

 

Already few months didn't update my blog... Don't actually know what am I doing recently... Probably just facebook, drama, movie, eat.... Do u feel I am very enjoy? For you, maybe... But for me, NOT!! I hate... Hate this kind of life... Hate myself.... Hate the day without job.... Hate why I don't even know what I want!! What I need to do? What I should do??

From the day I know I failed all the subject tat I take last sem, I should be more hardworking right? I should practice more than others right? Why I still playing facebook? Why I cant even arrange 1-2 hours for me to self study? Why I wan to me so lazy? Every night, I tell myself, 2molo I must start study... But at the end, end up with facebook whole day... Fuck!! I have to stop this!!!!!! Pls.......... Pls........ God!! Can u listen to me? Pls take the evil out from my body.... I wan to be a normal gal..

 

Trying to solve a tax question just now... That was sucks... I tot I already study 1 times, I can remember the rules.... Who knows... I almost dunno how to answer the question... Now I really know why I will failed....... I failed because I nvr use my heart to study... I nvr really listen to the lecturer... I nvr do the homework that lec giv... Everytime after class, I put the file at the cupboard, then will just sit in front of the computer... This is just a ''routine work'' to me... That's why I will fail right?? Really padan muka....

 

Actually, I am still thinking whether I should continue take 3 paper this sem o not.. I really scare... Scare that I will failed all again... Scare that I am not capable to handle 3 paper... Especially the audit paper... It's really hard for me... I just simply don't know... Don't know what is tat... 66pounds... I need to submit the application form by 2molo.... But... I really cannot make the decision....... Anyone help me pls?

 

Don't really remember what is the last time I take bus... Guess is at least 2 years I didn't take bus... So I decided to take bus today... Our Rapid KL is changed a lot... Inside hv tv somemore... So high tech.. Lolz... But with malay advertising...

 

I reach my house at 6 something.. I think is quite fast... Nvr expect will be so fast... Really underestimate our public transport ^^

 

 

 

 

 

 

Congratulation for all who find their target in life and success... Very happy when see my fren can do what they like, and try their best to achieve what they want.. I wish I could be them.......... At least they know how to do, and what to do... I am so lost.... I don't know what I want!! I hate myself! I hate everyday sitting in front of computer doing nth... I don't want!! I want to change!!!

 

I want to have a new job.. New target... 加油！Pls.... Hardworking! Don't failed again!!!

 It's 2am now... Still cannot sleep... Finally my trip to BKK is going to start soon... Hohoho... Waited this day since May... Lolz.. Finally, I can fly...  Already prepare the trip for so long.. After few more hour, I can realise my plan... Oh god! Finally... ^^

 

Finally, I can know what is the feeling sitting inside the aeroplane.. Finally, I can shopping like crazy... Really thanks to my dear for sponsor me the whole trips.. Although everyone is saying about H1N1.. But who's care?? Just biar la.... Hahaha... Biar H1N1...

 

 

 

It's 3am in the morning... But I still sitting in front of computer and doing nth... Actually, should help ''kangaroo'' do his notes... But end up wif playing poker... Lolz... This is my favourite games in facebook right now.. Spend at least few hours to play this no matter how busy am I... Crazy right?

 

Finally, my exam is over... Actually, I should very happy right? But it's not.... Why? Because I know I will fail... And now I don't know how many subject I should take next sem.. The time table is out... Plan to take 2 subject actually... However, the time table is totally crash wif my bangkok trip..  Fall exactly on 7 & 8... Oh my god... I tot I only will miss 1 class, who know, I will miss both of my FIRST class... I always feel 1st class is most important as most of the lecturer will intro the subject that you take to you... Will explain how hard is it, what would you study and etc... Well, what should I do now?

 

And actually, I wish to take 1 subject only.. Cos I know I cannot handle if I really start work... Can I just concentrate to my study and don't work? I really hope... But impossible, cos my bank already ''kosong''.....  Or can I work part time instead of find those accounting job?  I really very ''sotong''... A bit hate accounting actually... But what to do? I am studying ACCA now... Must convince myself to love it maybe...

 

In fact, I hate those complicated job... Any job introduce? I really hate growing up... Since I am not young anymore.. I really quite worry about my future... I hope I can be best..... But end up wif?? I become very lazy now... Just hope to 得过且过.... Why? I don't even have a clue... I need to change.... Change back to what I should be.... May I?

 

 

 

Trying to survive now.. Just start doing the revision kit... Lolz.. I think its mayb too late.. But what to do? This is my responsibility... I choose to take so many subject, I choose to study, I choose to resign... My decision.... So I should be responsible to my decision...

 

Will try to ''tong siu'' tonight.. Until 2molo... If I can lar... Hehehe... But at least I must try right?? Already waste almost 5 days to play poker, makan, go here and there... I must also at least study 1 day right? Fair? Lolz.. I hope my mom won't know I am that lazy... Hope she wont know I am poker everyday...

 

Tonight, I will study alone... At downstairs now.. My dear is sleeping inside the room right now... Dont know why, I totally cannot study when I with him... When I saw he is playing poker, I totally cannot study at all!! Yesterday I was fucking angry wif him, he know I want to study, but he play poker wif his fren, somemore talk so loud... Fuck... I totally cannot concentrate.... FInally, I just ignore my revision and play wif him... What the fuck I am doing right?? Crazy....

 

And today, it's the same... I still poker, and mayb do little revision... But most of the time also playing, and browsing internet... Actually, I quite hate la... If no internet, then I can concenrate study.. And wont blogging right now, is it?? Hehehe... Nvm la, just express my feeling only... Biar la... I think although I study whole night, the probability of pass also quite low.. Impossible let someone like me pass right? Ppl study so hard, and me just playing around... If I pass, also just lucky only... ^^ But I still hope I will pass..

 

This afternoon, Andrew told me that, if I can pass at least 2 subject, then he will buy me a new handphone.. Lolz.. I think it's mission impossible la... Cos if he say early mayb I still can do something... Now left 1 subject only..... Therefore, he offer me another ''reward''.. Hehe... He said although I pass 1 subject, I can get cash.. Lolz.. I thin at least RM 250 gua.. Hehe... This is the way he motivated me... Good ~ Good ~ I will try to achieve it!! Hehe...

 

So, now I have to continue to achieve my target... At least make it pass..... Pass!! Pass!! Pass!! Yeah!!

 

Tuesday until now.. I nvr fulfill my responsibility as a student.. Exam is on monday, but I totally cannot do revision more than 1 hour!! I promise to myself after take F4 that day, I promise myself must at least pass 1 subject, so I have to make use of this few days, but I failed to do it.. I very hate myself... Why can't just be hardworking a bit... Just for few days only? Why cant just do it?

 

A lot of ''devil'' inside my brain... Pushing me to die probably... Haih.. I really scare I will failed all.. But nth can motivate me to study... I feel wanna die already... Hope someone can ''dim seng'' me lar.....

 

刚吃饱饭，又开始放纵自己了.... 玩了一个小时的poker... 现在又想update自己的space了.... 刚考完试不久，考试题目比我想像中还难.... 5题里面，可以说是没有一题我可以完完全全的做完... 就只是这边做点，那边做点而已.... 结果，三个小时就在糊糊涂涂中结束了.... 现在像是在等死般..... 明天就考Law了.... 我最没有信心的一科.... 所以现在心情很烂.... 很想不要读！但是如果不读，我看我不用毕业了.... Haih.............

 

 

现在是凌晨3.30.... 还在努力温习中.... 还有十一小时半，我就要踏进考场了.... 可是我却还没有紧张的心情... 反而还在慢条斯理的温习.... 等下将会考的是Taxation.... 老实说，我才读了两个chapter而已... Corparate Tax 和 Personal Tax..... 而且两个都读到半桶水..... Mr Low 说会出的 Partnership 我却一点都还没动... Sales Tax , Tax Admin 更加不用说，我根本不知道那是什么.... 我能在剩下的11小时内读完吗？ops...我看不可能是11小时，因为我还要休息.... 应该是6小时吧... 6小时可以把所有的东西都读完吗？我看是有点勉强....

 

刚才，Andrew说我这个学期很懒散... 毫不紧张似的... 根本没有了斗心吧.... 第一次... 我对我读过的东西毫无印象! 读了差不多半年.... 我连我自己读过什么，我都不知道.... 虽然平时考试我都不是很勤力，可是这一次可以说是非常懒惰.... 明明有时间做最后的准备，我却把时间白白地浪费了.... 真是''不知所谓''!!!

 

Tax...... 我一定要克服你！！！ 至于明天的 Law.... 我很想牺牲你.... 我真的很累.... 看到Law 我就想睡！！但是，我实在不应该这样对吗？一定要尽力！尽了力，就算不及格，也对得起自己！

 

加油！加油！加油！我要替我自己加油！！也替所有明天考试的人加油！我们一定行！！ 祝我们好运！！

 

It's 2.45am... I still cannot sleep..... Actually, plan to study tonight... But failed to follow my plan..... Because of...... I also dunno... Just seeing my dear playing poker... And I just sitting beside him only..... I don't know what am I doing... Am i crazy? Exam is coming soon.... And what am I doing here? Facebook? Poker? Fuck!! I really hate myself.... Why can't I just be hardworking a bit? Just for few days? After this 2 week, then I can do what I wan to do.... Why? Why I just can't do it?

 

2molo hv class until 9pm... But i think it's good for me also... Better than let me stay at home and I just doing nothing... I really hate!!! I can spend few hour to facebook, but once i study 1 hour, I already feel boring... I must ganbateh!!!! Pls... Pls... I beg myself...... Pls dun be lazy... Exspecially this few day...... Pls....

 

Luckily, I still hav a happy things to share.. hehe... Today I just took a video for my lovely son.... Kindly have a look... hehe... Very cute... Like this video so much...

 

Exam coming soon... But it's totally not enough time to study.. I am going to die!!! 1 week ++ need to absorb all the things into my brain.. oh my god.... I cannot do it!!! I cannot!!!

 

Started F4, Corporate & Business Law this week... Already 2 days, Monday and Tuesday, I am still in Contract Law... 2molo I think still be the same.. contract law again!! But cannot!!! I must start Company Law 2molo!! I really wanna die!! Revision class will start this fri, means i got to study contract law and company law by Friday.... Can I do it? I think is impossible.........  Why?

 

Why it's so hard for me to study? Why other ppl can do it and I cannot?? Why??? I really hate myself le.... It's my decision to take ACCA, my decision to take 3 subject.... Then now I totally cannot handle.... Out of 3 subject, there is none of it I hav confidence to pass it.... I have start study Taxation paper for last week... After try so hard for 1 week plus, I still cannot do it... And the exam is around the corner... But I totally hv no time to continued do taxation... Forced to move to another paper... What the fuck? After this week, I will got to forced to move to another paper which is performance management, the hardest paper.... And after that, my Taxation exam will fall on June 1, I am totally dunno how to manage my time... Honestly, either I can pass the tax, or either I can pass the law.... Because law paper fall on June 2, after doing the tax paper, I think I dun hv energy to study the law anymore..... This is what I afraid the most......  

 

What can I do now? What should I do? I hope I can pass ALL the paper...... But is it possible??

 

This is what I read in Todays Horoscopes, it seems accurate... My confidence really taken a beating lately... And I hope my failure is really a chance of becoming reality... May I believe in myself? And even keep going?

 

 

五月六号了... 又恢复没有工作的日子.... 刚刚辞职了... 我觉得我自己很没有恒心，才做了三个月，就支持不住了.... 多半的原因是因为上课时间表吧... 差不多每一天都有上课，星期六，星期日就full day class... 几乎崩溃！每次放工去上课时，我清楚地了解我自己根本吸收不到老师在讲什么.... 头脑还是想着工作的东西，一直在想我有做错什么吗？真的很压力.... 每天都心惊吊胆... 不知道几时会做错东西.... 怕会连累别人... 怕会中骂.... 所以，我决定离开.... 虽然，很不理智....

 

我知道离开对他们会造成很多麻烦... 可是，如果不离开，我真的害怕我会不及格... 这几天，虽然不是24小时都在温习，但起码，我开始了解我这几个月在学些什么... 起码对考试多了些信心... 我真的很谢谢老板的挽留... 他给了我很多好的条件作为挽留... 真的很谢谢他，我其实还以为自己是一文不值的... 因为我什么都不会，总觉得一直在拖累他们... 可是，他们还是挽留这么一个笨笨的我...

 

在这三天没有做工的日子，我真的觉得很无聊... 在家看书，可是有看不久... 帮andrew做assignment，又觉得自己什么都帮不上忙.... 但时间却是一分一秒的过.... 说实在的，我真的不知道自己想怎样... 很犹豫不决... 很差劲.... 不知何时我才能改善自己呢？

 

Just updated my diary... My long left diary.. Lolz.. Almost 1 year didnt touch my diary... Actually, in quite bad mood recently... My job isn't simple as what I think... At 1st, i thought I sure can do it.... But almost 3 month of doing my job, I am more understand about my capability of handling something.... I feel I am so so stupid... Why I cannot done my job well? Why work 3 months already I still very blur... I still not really know what I got to do.. Everytime need to ask ppl how to do it.. how should i start...

 

My working performance is like shit...... I totally cannot accept what I do... very hate about myself... and i wonder y i cannot just do it... Y ppl can study and working at the same time and yet they doing very well... but y I just cannot do it? Why? Everytime I start work, I will screw up everything... My job, my studies.... Cannot handle both of them... In short words, I cannot ''multi-task'' mayb... Haih....

 

I always ask myself why? And actually I know the answer... Because i nvr put effort on it... Because I am a very lazy person... Because I wish to relax and play and at the same time I wish i could success....... But in fact, mana ada this kind of things one? I just too unrealistic.... How much u get is actually how many effort u put in... right? i understand, but I dunno how to do it..... Everyday when I work and study, seems no bring my brain to there.... Always day dreaming.... So i really wonder, ACCA route is suitable me? As I only a ordinary person... A professional shouldnt be like that right?

 

Should I really need to re-consider what I really want? I feel very lost now.... Hope someone can guide me....

 

 

又是星期天了... 唉,想到明天又要做工就很闲.... 明天又要half day了... 很闲，很累.... 做到一点，吃了东西就赶着去上课... 上到9.30叻！很累... 很累... 每天都在想：如果我还是18岁，那该多好啊？不用担心自己超龄... 不用急着找工...不用怕毕业以后已经是一把年纪了... 最重要的是，我可以重新选择我就读的科目.... 我真的浪费了很多时间... 读了错的couse ... 浪费了青春和金钱....

 

都已经23岁了，我还是一无所有，吊儿郎当，不负责任.... 连我自己都不懂要的是什么... 那我该如何成功呢？没有目标，如何会有未来？我很想平平淡淡过日子，可是当身边的朋友都有理想，抱负时，我觉得自己很渺小.... 觉得自己什么都不是....  我很想要简单的生活，无忧无虑的过日子... 可是选了account这科？我想我的日子是充满烦恼的吧！可是生米已煮成熟饭了，我还能怎样呢？

 

黄晓薇！加油吧！不可以再懒惰下去了！好吗？6月1号就考试了！我根本还没开始读书咯.... 看着班上的同学都很努力，我真的觉得很惭愧....

 

 

好久没有update blog 了... 之前都在忙着... 我的F1 passed 了咯！ 哈哈哈... 很开心.... 终于不用再担心了.... 之前一直担心过了那么久，我到底还记得老师教过什么吗？考试真得比我想象中容易...  

 

可是，考了 F1, 还有 F4, F5, F6..... 唉！其实我真的很后悔拿这么多科.... Tutorial 和 revision class 都落在weekdays.... 真的不懂要怎样请假.... 好怕老板会不爽咯.... 可是我能怎样呢？没有理由不要去class，对吗？请了revision class 和 tutorial class, 还有study leave 和 考试当天要请假.... Oh my god... 我真的不懂应该怎样... 我不知道class会在weekdays... 所以interview的时候都没有考虑那么多... 现在惨了咯... 老板肯定不爽.... 其实真的有点后悔为什么我去年不要做工呢？今年休息总好过去年休息.... 唉！

 

今天刚申请假期，希望老板会批准啦！千万不要给脸色我看.... 很怕叻！

 

 

 

 

又是迷失自己的时期... 好无聊哦！我真的不晓得自己要的是什么？我真的很辛苦.... 很矛盾.... 为什么别人可以那么坚强，愿意吃苦.... 为什么我就那么抗拒呢？我的目标呢？我到底要什么？为什么每隔一段时期就会这样呢？我到底想要怎样？我真的很讨厌我自己....

 

其实，我不知道自己是否喜欢会计，就糊里糊涂的去读了这一科... 不懂自己是否适合，就继续升学... 读了那么久，都还不发觉其实自己可能不喜欢这一科.... 直到.... 做了这一份工，我一直在怀疑到底我适合吗？每一天做工前，我都觉得很辛苦... 不想去上班..... 每一天，我都糊里糊涂的... 不知道自己要做什么... 我就是不喜欢这种''uncertainty''的生活.... 可是我又能怎么办呢？工作已经开始了，生活一直要继续... 无论如何，学费，考试费都要照样给.... 我真的很辛苦.... 每天放工后要赶着去college... 从来没有试过准时放工.... 每一天都会迟到... 每一天去到college都很blur....

 

为什么别人就可以轻轻松松做工... 轻轻松松读书... 而我呢？两方面都兼顾得不好.... 工作方面，我觉得自己很愚蠢.... 很多东西做了，我都不懂自己做得对还是错.... 想问，又不知可以问谁.... 在还没做这份工之前，我以为只要我肯学，我就会.... 可是，我现在才知道，如果没有人得空教你，做得对还是错你根本不可能懂... 只能自己去摸索.... 可是，在没有时间的情况下，还要摸索.... 我真的不是很可以接受！我觉得很不喜欢.... 这就是这间公司给我的感觉... 每天去做工，我都不懂下一步要怎样.... 问得多，别人可能会觉得你很烦.... 读书方面，更加不用说，每一天去到college, 只有时间抄而已，根本没有时间消化lecturer所讲的东西... 回到家已经是10点多了... 根本没有时间，也没有心情去温习... 想到第二天还要做工，什么心情都没了.... 哪找来读书的心情呢？

 

我在想：是我不适合account吗？还是只是这间公司不适合我呢？我真的不知道要用多少时间来度过这个''过渡期'' 呢？还是我应该离开呢？

 

离开绝对是逃避吧！如果找到别一份工还是一样呢？我希望给自己半年的时间，如果真的还是不喜欢这份工，我就开始找其他的工吧！好吗？我可以支撑到半年吗？我希望我真的可以做到... 起码，半年内我一定学到东西.... 总好过现在什么都没有学到就离开吧！

 

 

 

3 weeks already.. Not really can adapt this job... But the feeling is not as bad as the 1st week of work... I understand, life still hv to move on... We learn everyday.. From a baby until now, 23 years... I learn everything slowly.. No matter how hard it is, I still have to go through it....

 

要抱怨就不要做; 要做就不要抱怨 Heard this words from FM, quite meaningful right? This is my 座右铭 now.. Lolz.. Remind me not to 抱怨 too much... :p Well, this words seems not work to me right now... Not in good mood now... Will feel the same every Sunday so far... Think of monday need to work, my face will show ..... Lolz...

 

Luckily, I still hv fei zai and ah beng be wif me all the time... After hug them, my mood will be better... After hug them, I will tell myself to move on... Really thanks to them... They are always my motivation to move on... I think I will feel very lost without them  

 

 

元宵节快乐！今天是公共假期，所以我并没有做工... 这三天都过得很舒服... 非常享受这几天... 可惜，快乐得时间过得真快... 又是开工的时间了... 唉... 我真的不想去做工叻... 一想到明天就要做工，心情就变得很糟糕...

 

我不知道什么原因让我不想去office, 已经一个星期了... 这样的心情一直持续着... 我真的觉得我很像小孩子叻！在merajuk不要去上学似的... 不同的是现在我不要去上班... oh my god... 我和小学生没什么两样.... 我知道我自己很无聊，都23岁了，还无所事事，一事无成... 找到工作了，还每天抱着不想做工的心情去上班...... 救命！我这算什么嘛！我很想说服自己我很喜欢这份工，可是越是自欺欺人，我越想逃避......

 

到目前为止，我真的很不喜欢我自己！就只不过是工作而以嘛，为什么婆婆妈妈呢？顺其自然就好了啊？做好本分就好啊！有什么好怕的？做错了就从错误中学习啊！不要怕了好不好？妈妈常常告诉我，只要和主祷告，他一定会赐我们力量... 现在，我恳求主... 赐我智慧好吗？祝福我一切顺顺利利好吗？愿好运眷顾着我... 奉耶稣基督的名, Amen....

 

All the staff in the office are busy... Except me....  After sitting there bout 1 hour, once boss reach, ask us get ourself ready to go seri kembangan audit... The different is, boss no follow us this time... Means we hv to ''zap sang'' ourself... Lolz...

 

After reached there, I got nth to work again!! Oh my god... Why everytime ppl was busy and I am just sit there and doing nth... My senior arrange me to do sales test, but bcos of the document is not ready yet, I cannot do my things at all... I was just sitting there waiting for further ''instruction''........ Haih.... Feel I'm bad luck... Actually, really don't like to sit there while everyone is busy.. The feeling is just like ''I'm useless''........

 

Finally, the document reached to my hand... But that time already 4.30... God!! I hv class at 5.30 ==''... That's mean I still cannot gao dim my things.... Shit... The boss call our senior and ask her, y everything is so slow... Ya!! Hav to admit that I'm really slow!! But slow is bcos of i don't understand, slow is bcos of no one is teaching me... All the things hav to check ourself... ''self-study'' is need time man...  Really stress.... I don't know whether this job is really suit me o not...

 

We leave the place around 5.45... Reach KTM station at 6.05... I know I'm gonna late to class!! Just didn't expect I will late half hour!! Oh my god... Half hour!! I skip a lot of things... I really don't know I can pass the paper or not.. It's really hard for me.... I just ''copy'' what the lecturer said only... totally cannot follow ==''... Mayb I am really too ''za''... lolz...

 

After class... I feel I'm free..... Really best... Just feel all the stress is ''release''.... haha... Although sat hv class, but I think that feeling is bcos of ''I no need work 2molo''... Yeah!!